Shame, guilt and hiding bottles at 23 days

But only in my dreams.

I know, right? But that’s nothing to how relieved I felt when I realised. It was an awful dream, skipping straight past the actual drinking part to the bit where LH discovered a half full bottle in a packing box and expressed angry confusion, and I knew there were two more empties In another box and could I get rid of them before he spotted them and should I finally confess everything or pretend it didn’t happen and just grit my teeth for Day One again. And shit, I was going to have to tell the blogosphere, and reset my day counter and Belle and maybe nobody needed to know as long as I got back to it immediately.

What’s better than waking up without a hangover? Waking up without secrets.

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5 thoughts on “Shame, guilt and hiding bottles at 23 days

    • I feel like it’s a rite of passage for sure. But the sheer disappointment in myself was so startling, and so useful. I felt like total shit. Really, such a fuck up, I was so disgusted with myself.

      In my waking hours, wolfie can tell me that one drink, one bottle, one night is no big deal. In my sleep I can hear my own voice, and it knows the truth.

  1. Ha yes I get this dream too (ninety something days AF, still get it) – right down wondering whether I can get away with not telling Belle and my mates on Soberistas.com. Great blog, thanks for doing it.

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